20 February 2010

Let Live.



A friend of mine left comments in one of my sites, comments that to me, sounded quite negative and unfair... he interpreted photographs as if they were realities of my life. I found it very judgmental.

A person could pose once with a sad face doesn't make her entire life sad, does it?

I would've let this slip if only the comments didn't question so much about my life, and my decision to stay single and stay away from people I do not want to have anything to do with. If you know me enough, you'd know that I am not petty, I don't sweat the small stuff, I rise above small things. I could not be bothered by nonsense and bull. But this is different. This is about my life, and I felt that it was disrespected. I was deeply hurt. Thus, this entry.

So I wrote that friend a letter, a strong one.

He apologized.

I wrote that letter because I want to put him in his place. I wrote that letter because our friendship means something to me. And I am really tired of people judging me unfairly. If you are a friend, it is better to ask me directly. I really really really hate rumor-mongers. Yes, the word is HATE.

Sometimes, just because we think we know someone enough, we feel that we have the right to judge them, or that we are free to give our own righteous opinion about their lives.

I forgave him. I am not a perfect friend myself and sometimes, we hurt people without meaning to. I guess, that was what happened.

Still, I believe that no matter how close we are with someone, it is important to respect them and respect how they choose to live their lives.


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15 left some love :

photosandmemos February 20, 2010 at 8:20 AM  

that photo leaves me mesmerized...pang hallmark=)

i agree, people should let us be.and stop judging..its tiresome being judged..murag prisoners,LOL.

smile na..we have one week to start being healthy..no ice cream, no chippy=)

Liza February 20, 2010 at 6:38 PM  

I agree with Chelo. That photo is mesmerizing! I remember another one you took of the same kind of flower--where you took the photo from below. That remains one of my favorites! This is even better than Hallmark :-)

It hurts so much to be judged by someone, especially by someone you consider a friend. **BIG HUGS**

Tita Lou February 20, 2010 at 10:13 PM  

I love this photo Ai, can I have this made into a card?

People shouldn't cross the line unless asked. But in our culture, I noticed that our closeness knows no boundaries. It gets too personal thus you hear a lot of hurtful things which the other might not mean to turn that way.

Just like the other day. Auntie Liding wanted to test the weighing scale and she kept asking me to step on it. When I refused she said I was afraid that the scale would ran out of numbers. For her it was a joke, it wasn't for me. I gave her a mocking horrified look. LOL

Aileen Siroy February 21, 2010 at 12:23 AM  

photosandmemos said...
that photo leaves me mesmerized...pang hallmark=)

i agree, people should let us be.and stop judging..its tiresome being judged..murag prisoners,LOL.

smile na..we have one week to start being healthy..no ice cream, no chippy=)

. . . . .

I agree. People should just let each other be.

Yes, I'm gorging now because next week, we'll be eating healthy. LOL. No chippy for you, you promised!

About the picture, thank you. :)

Aileen Siroy February 21, 2010 at 12:26 AM  

Liza said...
I agree with Chelo. That photo is mesmerizing! I remember another one you took of the same kind of flower--where you took the photo from below. That remains one of my favorites! This is even better than Hallmark :-)

It hurts so much to be judged by someone, especially by someone you consider a friend. **BIG HUGS**

. . . . .

This is the same flower from the same batch of photos, Liz. :) Thank you. :)

And you are right, it hurts so bad to be judged by those we expect to understand, accept, and love us wholly. *big hugs back*

Aileen Siroy February 21, 2010 at 12:33 AM  

Tita Lou said...
I love this photo Ai, can I have this made into a card?

People shouldn't cross the line unless asked. But in our culture, I noticed that our closeness knows no boundaries. It gets too personal thus you hear a lot of hurtful things which the other might not mean to turn that way.

Just like the other day. Auntie Liding wanted to test the weighing scale and she kept asking me to step on it. When I refused she said I was afraid that the scale would ran out of numbers. For her it was a joke, it wasn't for me. I gave her a mocking horrified look. LOL

. . . . .

Hi Tita!

Sure! Do you want me to print it for you? Or would you prefer I send you the high res copy through email? Just let me know. :) And thank you. I'm happy you like this photo.

You are right, it is in our culture to just say things to people close to us without consideration of their feelings. We assume too quickly that those close to us will understand what we are trying to say.

Oh, and that weight issue, that is common in our culture, too. I'm sure Auntie Liding didn't mean any harm. But I totally get you. :)

Aileen Siroy February 21, 2010 at 12:37 AM  

Jane,

Thank you for the PM. It was indeed very relieving to have said my piece. :)

I'm missing you, too. And I hope to see you when I'm in Cebu come March. Humba! LOL!

And kung madayon ka, text me! :D

Take care. HUGS back.

Aileen Siroy February 21, 2010 at 12:39 AM  

Badeth,

Got your YM. Thank you! No need to 'away' the person. *grin* The letter is enough. :) You are sweet. Thank you for being such a great friend. :)

live.laugh.love. February 21, 2010 at 1:06 AM  

i think i know which comment trail you are talking about. i was quite surprised too when i read the words. i almost felt the hurt in your answer.

i cannot claim to know you very well, A. but i know enough-you are beautiful, inside and out. no matter what silent choices you have made, the happiness that radiates from you is undeniable.

keep the light aglow! ♥♥

Cindy February 21, 2010 at 1:55 AM  

simply stunning photo... very soft, lami-a hawiran. the photo makes me smile.

*** karon ra ko naka-discover sa imohang blog Ai da... keeps me going, dapat natulog nako karon from duty =)

JoPiE February 21, 2010 at 1:52 PM  

ai, i saw those comments -- and i was really taken aback. my thought was, "how dare he?!" naglagot ko nagbasa. sorry ha, friend ra ba nimo. but i'm glad you put him in his place, as you so aptly said. i am the number one advocate of letting people live the way they choose to. in my own words, "bahala'g mo-tuwad ko sa kilid sa dalan, way magbuot!" as long as i'm not hurting anyone (deliberately that is), no one should have a say in my life except me (and well, except my family). ang ubang taw, way labot! *klaro ba nga nasuko? hehe*

Aileen Siroy February 22, 2010 at 2:23 AM  

live.laugh.love. said...
i think i know which comment trail you are talking about. i was quite surprised too when i read the words. i almost felt the hurt in your answer.

i cannot claim to know you very well, A. but i know enough-you are beautiful, inside and out. no matter what silent choices you have made, the happiness that radiates from you is undeniable.

keep the light aglow! ♥♥

. . . . .

Thank you for these very comforting words, Ces. It means a lot to me that a friend sees me in such a positive light. :)

Take care. And see you when I get back. :)

Aileen Siroy February 22, 2010 at 2:24 AM  

Cindy said...
simply stunning photo... very soft, lami-a hawiran. the photo makes me smile.

*** karon ra ko naka-discover sa imohang blog Ai da... keeps me going, dapat natulog nako karon from duty =)

. . . . .

Thank you, Cinds! Glad you found me. :)

Aileen Siroy February 22, 2010 at 2:35 AM  

JoPiE said...
ai, i saw those comments -- and i was really taken aback. my thought was, "how dare he?!" naglagot ko nagbasa. sorry ha, friend ra ba nimo. but i'm glad you put him in his place, as you so aptly said. i am the number one advocate of letting people live the way they choose to. in my own words, "bahala'g mo-tuwad ko sa kilid sa dalan, way magbuot!" as long as i'm not hurting anyone (deliberately that is), no one should have a say in my life except me (and well, except my family). ang ubang taw, way labot! *klaro ba nga nasuko? hehe*

. . . . .

I was crying and laughing reading this, Jops. :) Thank you for being mad for me. I'm really glad to know another soul who advocates tolerance, and in your own words: "of letting people live the way they choose to."

I agree with you, on all counts.

Thank you for understanding how I felt about the comments. I thought for awhile I was just overly sensitive. :) Take care and kisses to baby Benjamin. :)

Mina February 22, 2010 at 1:23 PM  

Whenever people question my choices, I feel like answering back with a question, too: And why is your face like that?!? It sounds better in Filipino: Eh ikaw, bakit ganyan ang hitsura mo?!?

:D

You are right about putting him in his place. Sometimes, it could be our fault when people treat/judge us badly coz we allow them to.

P.S.
I love this photo. :)

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